When you are in a relationship with that special person, your relationships with friends change. That’s inevitable. Some friends will be hurt and betrayed but there is nothing you can do. You have to make choices and you have to balance these two things. At the same time, your friends are not only your friends anymore and that’s the funny part that I would like to talk about.
People are extremely social creatures. They are used to being around others, forming connections and leaning on others. We start that while we are still in the diapers. Surprisingly, the older we get, the more difficult it is to form strong connections. Thus, you start cherishing the more and more which is great until you find your life partner. Then relationships and being in them becomes tricky and sometimes even painful. Constantly, you have to choose where (or with whom) do you want to be – with your partner or with your friend. In some cases, you will miss the important moments just because you choose one over another. You’re lucky if your friend (or partner) understands that you can’t be there all the time. You can’t drop everything in a sec. Because of that, it hurts. In my case, I was devastated that you can’t be there for everyone, that choosing one or another side meant hurting the other side. Luckily, my partner understands how important friends are for me. So, he would smile, hug me and let me go. It wasn’t that easy with friends. Because of that, I lost some of them. Is that right? Not sure, but it’s too late already.
At the same time, being in relationship means sharing friends. So, while I lost few friends, other friends became not only mine. Yes, I will always have a stronger connection with them, they will be always on my side but they care about my partner, too. I bet that if he needs help, they would be there for him. The same goes for his friends. They are kind of his friends, but they are slowly becoming mine, too. I am starting to get to know them and form some kind of connection. We are always aware that my partner is necessary for our relationship but they would help me (or rather us) if I really needed help. Does it mean that I’m leaving my friends because of his? That’s the answer that I have to answer to myself.
So, being in a relationship means losing friends and gaining new ones. It still hurts to understand that I won’t be able to spend so much time with my friends, be there for them, but the magic of romantic relationship is much stronger. I would rather lose few friends than lose my partner. Not sure if that’s right but that’s my personal choice. Maybe if they leave that easily, they weren’t real friends? I guess that’s the ultimate question – who is your friend?