Leaving to find a place called home

Almost a year ago, I found out that I would be finally moving to the Netherlands. That’s a decision (or realization) that made me feel everything at the same time – from uplifting joy to everything consuming panic. For stronger dramatic effect, I would love to say that this decision changed everything, but in reality… yes, there were quite a bit adjustments, changes, growth, but still many things are the same.

I love (and miss) my family and friends as much as I used to. Maybe one of the realizations that I came to – damn, they gave (and still give) so much strength and support for me. I don’t think I could have done as much as I did. Their limitless love is simply inspiring. It’s a shame to say, but few friends/acquaintances dropped (and that’s really the most appropriate word for the process that we went through), because of the distance, because of different lifestyles, because of… so many reasons, but most importantly we grew differently. There is a tiny hole because of them, but in the end, it will fill in with all new memories and new friends which is kind of inspiring.

What else… after some years – I would love to say 10, but it’s more like 5 or 7 – I finally found a place which I can call home. A place, where I am happy to come back and where I feel safe. It’s not only our house but the whole city. Tiny houses with the flowers in the windows, dreamy canals in the middle of a city, tulips on the streets to make others happy, bike roads to make sure that you can actually reach everything you want. It simply breathes happiness and freedom. For me, that’s a perfect place to live.

Finally. Me – I changed and remained at the same time. I slowly discover myself and everything that I really had inside of me. It’s a tough road, but at least I’m progressing. I still lack self-confidence, but I feel that I rediscovered all my inner fairies and gnomes. I am slowly recuperating to experience, to learn, to do and when I think about it… There are so many adventures waiting for me.

So, to sum up, the past year. With all the downsides, it’s still the best year of my life and the best decision. I was extremely unhappy few times, but I guess that’s normal when so many things changes. I just wonder if I could actually fit in here… I will have just to wait and see.

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