I used to say that I want to ride motorcycle one day without actually experiencing it. I used to say it was so much fun without even trying to use it or actually falling. During one of the less successful trips, we fell and I wasn’t even then one driving. Nonetheless, I was freaking out before the first ride after a fall.
People say that if something bad happens, you shouldn’t give up. You should pick yourself up and try it again. After the tiny accident (some bruises on the bike and a bit dirty clothing) where nothing really bad happened, it was freaking hard to get back on it. Even now (after few successful trips and long weekend trip), I can’t fully enjoy the bike. Now, I am just not sure if I would dear to drive one myself. When the stakes are lower, cliche advice to stand up and try again would make sense, but whenever you have higher stakes, more things to lose, it isn’t that easy. Or they have never experienced a serious loss. So, how do you deal with the fare when you have much more to lose? I still don’t have an answer for that. Fake it till you make it doesn’t seem as an option, because every drive, every try seems so hard. I tried to figure out how stuff works which seemed to work a bit better because at least now I don’t imagine falling every single time.
But my question is – can I really hope to lose that fear? Or will it be always with me? I guessed the worst thing would be to be constantly afraid and don’t challenge myself because of that. In a way, I am happy that my partner will alway push my to at least make the first step.